Vatheon Voicemail

[feralfanatic]

You have reached the Communication Device of the Disciple.

I am sorry. It looks like I am unable to answer at the moment.

Please leave a message, and I will get back to you.

Comments

[feralfanatic]

It is... okay. It is not your job to protect me around the clock. [A twinge of pale-colored regret as she says that. Odd, almost as if she was forgetting something.]

[A awkward sip of tea, a sigh, and then a confession...]

Part of me knew what I was getting into, I think. I just wish I could remember more of how it came about. I... fear that my hatred for him might in fact be black, and that drunk-me acted upon that.

[aim_exorable]

[Unable to help himself, Darkleer purses his lips together. Of course he doesn't like it, but she is an adult troll, and she can handle her own business.]

Are you quite certain you want to pursue a relationship with him? It may be difficult, with both of your relationships to Signless, but it isn't impossible...

["But it's Dualscar" goes unsaid.]

[feralfanatic]

No, I am not at all sure. I...

[Another sip, another sigh, another confession.]

I am not sure how it would work even if I did pursue it. I am not sure I want to base any relationship, black or not, off of something like that. I am the first to admit I have almost no first-hand knowledge of anything caliginous.

Hells, I am still trying to figure out how I even feel about what happened Monday!

[She sets down her tea, and buries her face in her palms. She has not really stopped to consider the fact that she is sharing some of her deepest thoughts and worries with him at the moment.]

[aim_exorable]

Oh...

[Without even thinking about it, he sets down his tea in the same movement that he shifts away from the cat plush by her knees. One large hand settles on one of them.]

I'm really not sure if I should be permitted to give advice, but...

[Darkleer stops himself.]

[feralfanatic]

Darkleer...

[She moves her head from her hands, her eyes seeking his.]

Please, I trust you. You never have to hesitate to speak when speaking with me.

[aim_exorable]

Very well.

[Not for the first time and no doubt not for the last, Darkleer is thankful for the glasses shielding his eyes. He can't meet her gaze as honestly as she is meeting is. He told himself that he would turn her down if the confession was truth, but he just. He can't do it right now.]

Regardless of what you may feel for him right now, I believe holding off may be for the best. There are numerous reason for this, but the one that bothers me the most is that he took clear advantage of you when you were in no proper state of mind to agree. You didn't have a relationship beforehand that would hint you would be alright with such a thing happening between you and him, either.

Not to mention with how much you are tearing yourself up over such feelings, perhaps you simply aren't ready. When you are less prone to panic, maybe. Until then...

[His lips curl up for a moment.]

If you are not prepared, then he is most certainly not prepared. Even if the interest is black, that does not mean taking advantage of someone who was as intoxicated as yourself! I also doubt his commitment. He previously claimed Mindfang as his kismesis, but freely toyed around with others in the same vein. There is also the matter of their recent break up, at least for his reference of time. I wouldn't put it past him to be attempting some sort of stupid 'jealousy' ploy.

[A shake of his head.]

If he really wants to court you, properly, then he has to work for it. Anyone in their right mind would want to punch the wretched fish right in the face, but that does not make him a particularly good kismesis. He needs to prove that he is worth it as a rival. He needs to prove that there is more to him to hate than just the fact that he is spending time with your matesprit. If he cannot somehow find a way to start up a proper rivalry, then he isn't worth your time.

[Wow that is a lot of talking, apparently he has a lot of feelings on this! Darkleer coughs lightly into his hand and reaches for his cup.]

This is all a matter of opinion, of course.

[feralfanatic]

[She listens intently as he speaks. His words, all clear, simple facts she was much too confused in the thick of it, to see properly. Hearing them come from him made it all start to make more sense; made it so simple. She did, however, notice just how well versed he apparently was on the subject. She did not intend to say anything, but would wonder about it later, when she had time to think about it.]

Opinion, yes... [She offers a small chuckle.] You make it sound so simple. At the very least it is a lot to think on.

I believe I will avoid him for awhile, maybe I am not ready. I might have to make some use of that other gift you got me. Maybe exact some doll-based revenge. Or maybe dwelling on revenge might just make matters worse...

[Heavy sigh.]

Then there are all the other considerations... It is all just so complicated.

[She re-acquires her tea, taking a sip.]

Darkleer, thank you, I believe you just saved me days of stress and useless internal dialog. I think I might steer clear of liquor for awhile... on principle. I do not think I need do anything else I might regret.

[aim_exorable]

Sometimes, things are simple from the perspective of someone not so tied in.

[He shrugs, busying himself with his tea so that he doesn't have to answer right away.]

Try and convince Lysunder to stay the same. I think he has issues with holding back, sometimes.

[feralfanatic]

I will see what I can do, [slight smile.] I have been needing to talk to him anyways.

[She can certainly sympathize with Lysunder, she knew how cathartic it could be to just let go sometimes, it was why they shared the cupcakes now and again.]

Curse or no, I still cannot believe I got that bad. Looking at the videos I sent was a bit of a shock. I did not do anything else wild and crazy that you know about, did I? No taunting sharks on the island? or stripping down and streaking about the plaza?

[Disciple kept feeling like she was missing something, and She was trying her best to stay good humored about it.]

[aim_exorable]

If you did any of that, I can not say I know a thing about it. Although...

[It's what he came here for, right? It is one of the two things he came to discuss with her.]

You did have something of an issue of... proposing.

[feralfanatic]

Proposing?

Oh gods, what did I do?

[aim_exorable]

Well, more like suggesting. Or hinting that you would like to be in a quadrant with people.

...Mostly myself, far as I know.

[feralfanatic]

[!!!]

[There is that panic she had forgotten. She did not confess... did she? She could vaguely remember saying something important to Darkleer, she didn't think it was... that. Oh, how she suddenly wished she had a drink. Tea would have to work, as she sucks down an awkward gulp.]

You? And what exactly did I say?

[Disciple was trying to keep her voice steady, and failing.]

[aim_exorable]

I believe you mentioned there was no one else you would rather have as your moirail. Of course, you were also very drunk.

[He just. Wants to put that on the table. Remind everyone it's there.]

[feralfanatic]

[She blinks, and then blinks a couple more times. Accursed Drunk-sciple admitting things she was not sure about yet.]

[Oh look! More tea! Drink, drink.]

I was quite drunk, was I not?

[She managed, completely skirting the issue; obviously so.]

[aim_exorable]

Yes.

[For some reason, he's not as relieved as he thought he would be.]

You were. At least you know better now.

[feralfanatic]

[Her drunk self, doing what she might never have the courage to say. For someone who used to love the quadrants so long ago, she certainly sucked at them.]

Yeah alcohol can make do crazy things. It can make you sleep with someone you hate, black romance or not. Make you tell things to your daughter she did not need to hear. Or confess a struggling red romance to your matesprit's descendant. It can also...

[Oh gods, why was she about to do this!?]

...make you admit things you would never be able to say while sober. No matter how much you might have wanted to.

[OH MAN! She sure was thirsty, Was that tea she had? SURE WAS! Better stare directly at it to make sure it continues to be tea.]

1/2

[aim_exorable]

[Yes, they are completely in agreement. He's glad of this! Really. So he'll just finish things up here-]

[aim_exorable]

[And then the confession, which makes him jerk upright and his fingers twitch-]

[Oh wait. That twitch ends up shattering the teacup he was holding in his hands. Darkleer jerks back with a wince behind his glasses.]

Oh my- I apologize, I'll clean it up immediately.

[Getting up! Getting up!]

[feralfanatic]

[No! No! Stupid! Why did she say that!? She could barely handle her matespritship, what made her think she could handle having a moirail? Why did she have to go and ruin what she had with him? She continued to mentally berate herself.]

[She stands up swiftly, her face an unreadable mask.]

I will take care of it, you are my guest here.

[aim_exorable]

No, it is my own fault, I should be held accountable for my own actions.

[Even if there are one or two shallow cuts on his hands from the shattered porcelain. He gets up as well, ears lower.]

I'm normally more in control of myself, I apologize, I'm not- [-normally so careless is what he means to say, but instead what comes out is-] -I'm not good for it.

[feralfanatic]

[Were she not in the middle of a mental breakdown, she might have better noticed his slip of the tongue. As it was, she was distracted by the sight of blue on his hands, and trying to fight back the urge to disappear into the depths of her hive and lock herself away.]

You are fine, really, It was an- accident. Please go to the kitchen sink, I cannot have you bleeding everywhere. I will go fetch some bandages.

[She retreats before he can really say anything, deeper into the hive, to fetch the previously mentioned bandages. She takes a little longer then what might be considered normal for such an action. Disciple had stopped to berate herself under her breath in the bathroom mirror.]

Why did you have to say that, you fool? Now you probably ruined whatever friendship you had with him. That is just fantastic!

[A short bit later she leaves the restroom seeking Darkleer, holding a small first aid kit. It finally hits home, then, what he had said right before she left the front room. Disciple started a new round of chewing herself out. Oh, she was in top form today!]

[aim_exorable]

[It's a good thing she pulls herself out of her self scolding, because by the time she comes back, Darkleer is at the front door, staring at the doorknob. It's obvious he's taking deep thought on whether or not he should just leave. When he hears her, however, he jerks his head up. There's a towel wrapped around his hands to keep the blood from getting anywhere, and his shoulders are hunched as he stares at her. He's nearly as skittish as a frightened horse.]

[He doesn't say anything.]

[feralfanatic]

[Oh gods, see? Chasing him away because you could not control yourself. A stab of pain forms in her gut seeing him at the door. If he left now, who knows when she would see him again?]

Darkleer... Please... at least let me treat your wound.

[She holds up the first-aid kit.]

[aim_exorable]

[It's more that he's just become very bad with relationship issues, and tends to try and run away from them. It's not a solution, it's just... He can think when he's not immediately confronted with it, right?]

[Of course, he tends to put himself with the wrong train of thought.]

I... I have a medical kit in my sylladex. I wouldn't want to waste any of your own supplies.

[At least he steps away from the door, however.]

They aren't that bad, anyway. Shallow and small.