Vatheon Voicemail

[feralfanatic]

You have reached the Communication Device of the Disciple.

I am sorry. It looks like I am unable to answer at the moment.

Please leave a message, and I will get back to you.

Comments

[aim_exorable]

I believe you mentioned there was no one else you would rather have as your moirail. Of course, you were also very drunk.

[He just. Wants to put that on the table. Remind everyone it's there.]

[feralfanatic]

[She blinks, and then blinks a couple more times. Accursed Drunk-sciple admitting things she was not sure about yet.]

[Oh look! More tea! Drink, drink.]

I was quite drunk, was I not?

[She managed, completely skirting the issue; obviously so.]

[aim_exorable]

Yes.

[For some reason, he's not as relieved as he thought he would be.]

You were. At least you know better now.

[feralfanatic]

[Her drunk self, doing what she might never have the courage to say. For someone who used to love the quadrants so long ago, she certainly sucked at them.]

Yeah alcohol can make do crazy things. It can make you sleep with someone you hate, black romance or not. Make you tell things to your daughter she did not need to hear. Or confess a struggling red romance to your matesprit's descendant. It can also...

[Oh gods, why was she about to do this!?]

...make you admit things you would never be able to say while sober. No matter how much you might have wanted to.

[OH MAN! She sure was thirsty, Was that tea she had? SURE WAS! Better stare directly at it to make sure it continues to be tea.]

1/2

[aim_exorable]

[Yes, they are completely in agreement. He's glad of this! Really. So he'll just finish things up here-]

[aim_exorable]

[And then the confession, which makes him jerk upright and his fingers twitch-]

[Oh wait. That twitch ends up shattering the teacup he was holding in his hands. Darkleer jerks back with a wince behind his glasses.]

Oh my- I apologize, I'll clean it up immediately.

[Getting up! Getting up!]

[feralfanatic]

[No! No! Stupid! Why did she say that!? She could barely handle her matespritship, what made her think she could handle having a moirail? Why did she have to go and ruin what she had with him? She continued to mentally berate herself.]

[She stands up swiftly, her face an unreadable mask.]

I will take care of it, you are my guest here.

[aim_exorable]

No, it is my own fault, I should be held accountable for my own actions.

[Even if there are one or two shallow cuts on his hands from the shattered porcelain. He gets up as well, ears lower.]

I'm normally more in control of myself, I apologize, I'm not- [-normally so careless is what he means to say, but instead what comes out is-] -I'm not good for it.

[feralfanatic]

[Were she not in the middle of a mental breakdown, she might have better noticed his slip of the tongue. As it was, she was distracted by the sight of blue on his hands, and trying to fight back the urge to disappear into the depths of her hive and lock herself away.]

You are fine, really, It was an- accident. Please go to the kitchen sink, I cannot have you bleeding everywhere. I will go fetch some bandages.

[She retreats before he can really say anything, deeper into the hive, to fetch the previously mentioned bandages. She takes a little longer then what might be considered normal for such an action. Disciple had stopped to berate herself under her breath in the bathroom mirror.]

Why did you have to say that, you fool? Now you probably ruined whatever friendship you had with him. That is just fantastic!

[A short bit later she leaves the restroom seeking Darkleer, holding a small first aid kit. It finally hits home, then, what he had said right before she left the front room. Disciple started a new round of chewing herself out. Oh, she was in top form today!]

[aim_exorable]

[It's a good thing she pulls herself out of her self scolding, because by the time she comes back, Darkleer is at the front door, staring at the doorknob. It's obvious he's taking deep thought on whether or not he should just leave. When he hears her, however, he jerks his head up. There's a towel wrapped around his hands to keep the blood from getting anywhere, and his shoulders are hunched as he stares at her. He's nearly as skittish as a frightened horse.]

[He doesn't say anything.]

[feralfanatic]

[Oh gods, see? Chasing him away because you could not control yourself. A stab of pain forms in her gut seeing him at the door. If he left now, who knows when she would see him again?]

Darkleer... Please... at least let me treat your wound.

[She holds up the first-aid kit.]

[aim_exorable]

[It's more that he's just become very bad with relationship issues, and tends to try and run away from them. It's not a solution, it's just... He can think when he's not immediately confronted with it, right?]

[Of course, he tends to put himself with the wrong train of thought.]

I... I have a medical kit in my sylladex. I wouldn't want to waste any of your own supplies.

[At least he steps away from the door, however.]

They aren't that bad, anyway. Shallow and small.

[feralfanatic]

[She cannot help herself, seeing him being his stubborn self brings a small smile to her face, finally cracking the blank mask she had donned.]

Oh please, they just throw free stuff at you here, you are wasting nothing.

Come here, let us have a look at them.

[She gestures to the sink.]

[aim_exorable]

[There's a bit of hesitance but then he moves away, unwrapping the towel. There are small spots of blue on it, but it's nothing big. At least with that he was telling the truth. He's suffered worse from engineering and it shows with the many other scars on his fingers and palm.]

[Holding them over the sink, he stews on his words before eventually speaking up.]

I don't want to ruin things with you, like with... Psiioniic.

[feralfanatic]

[She takes her time, cleaning the wound, applying antiseptic and dressing it. She is still holding onto his bandaged had when she finally speaks up, her tone hard to read.]

Why do you think that will happen?

[aim_exorable]

It is what occurred before- not just with one, but with two people, with the same event. It occurred when I was trying to do as a proper moirail does.

I haven't had a moirail before... Maybe it's for good reason.

[feralfanatic]

I cannot speak for whoever they were, perhaps they were not ready for a moirallegiance. All I can really do is tell you how I feel, and be straight with you. I have said too much already so I might as well keep talking or I might just stop, and light knows when I will ever be able to speak of this again.

[Disciple continues to hold onto the life preserver that was his bandaged hand.]

For awhile now, you and I have been good friends, and I cherish that friendship, it is one of the most valuable things I have down here in the bubble. The last thing I would want to do would be to jeopardize it.

I am not really sure when I first noticed it, but my feelings towards you started to change. I told myself they were not pale, that I was just becoming a closer friend, but I was lying to myself. A sudden desire to make sure you are happy, even at my own expense, to make sure you are protected from others and yourself, To be there if you ever needed me, no matter the cause... and in return, I have come to rely on you.

At this point, Darkleer, I cannot imagine the bubble without you... if you were not here, the things I would have succumb to, the people I would have hurt...

[A heavy sigh. Maybe she was talking too much nonsense.]

I am sorry if you do not feel the same way. I do not mean to put you on the spot or anything, but It meant too much for me to just ignore it any longer. If... you do not feel the same, at all, and I have been misreading all of this, just say so. I will drop this forever, and we can go back to what we had before, or at least try to. But, if you feel the same way as I do, even just a little bit... I think we could have something wonderful, if we only were to give it a chance.

[And she quits speaking, fairly spent emotionally. She is just staring at the large hand she is still grasping, unable to look anywhere else. Time itself seemed to be slowing down for her, waiting for the response.]

[aim_exorable]

[He listens. With all she has done for him, and all she means to his entire life, it is the very least he could do. It was his intent to let her down as gently as he possibly could if it were true. But it is true, she is telling him right now, and somehow he just cannot bring himself to outright reject her. It's almost frightening.]

[His mouth feels thick and cumbersome inside his mouth, unable to form words, but Darkleer tries to work past it.]

I'm... still not sure what you mean to me. You changed everything. Is it because of that that I care for you so much? I think from the start... I was resolved to protect you no matter what because I had given up all that I had. That wouldn't be a proper moiraillegience, would it? I wouldn't be able to make you happy...

[feralfanatic]

[An answer, one that was not an outright no. She released a breath she was not aware she had been holding. Though it seems she still had some work to do.]

I... I may be a bit rusty with the quadrants, they are something I have not had the luxury to dabble with in a long time. What you are describing; a troll giving up on their old life, changing what they stood for, going against orders just to save them, and then to go on and protect them to the best of his ability. That sounds almost storybook.

And as to whether or not you could make me happy...

[She places and arm on his shoulder, reassuringly.]

You already have.

[aim_exorable]

I wasn't pale for you then...

[Of that, he's fairly certain. He knows the old cliches too. It wasn't some long lingering moment where he could feel his heart swell and ache. More like being burned- quick and sharp, lingering even when you instinctively jerked away from that which burned you. Only he hadn't moved away quick enough, when it came to her.]

[The hand on his shoulder makes him glance up at her, fleetingly, from behind the safety of his glasses. Then he's jerking his head away, stomach twisting.]

I made him happy as well, I like to think. Yet in the end, I still did something that ruined things between us forever.

[feralfanatic]

[Well, it certainly seemed that if she were to pursue him, that she needed to know more about what had transpired with his previous attempted moirail.]

If it is okay with you, I would like to hear about what happened.

[aim_exorable]

[Should he? Darkleer can faintly recall frantically trying to explain himself to those who were involved, trying to make them understand. His matesprit dead and not immediately coming back, having just killed the Highblood, all of that... Just thinking about it makes him tired. He raises a hand to press at his eyes, knuckles bumping into his glasses.]

Do you know who I was pale for last...?

[feralfanatic]

[Disciple had been in one of her reclusive moods around then, so no, she had not really heard much about it.]

I... confess that I do not.

[aim_exorable]

Psiioniic.

[It isn't fair- he can still feel his heart twist painfully thinking about him.]

I was one of the few who immediately got to him when he first arrived here in the city. I didn't expect to deal with him much again, but then Equius accidentally ordered him to the hive, and, we simply began to meet more often.

[feralfanatic]

[Oh. She could certainly see the difficulties that might arise from that. The Psii in the bubble was not the Psii she remembered. His time after the death of Signless changed him worse then her own exile.]

[There was much more to this story, however. She keeps her hand and his arm and urges him to continue with a small nod and a slight smile.]