Vatheon Voicemail

[feralfanatic]

You have reached the Communication Device of the Disciple.

I am sorry. It looks like I am unable to answer at the moment.

Please leave a message, and I will get back to you.

Comments

[feralfanatic]

[A pit starts to form in her gut the more he speaks, hearing the tale of how everything went down. The further in the story he gets the more she is enveloped by a sympathetic misery. To have to go through all of that, and to bottle it up all inside...]

[When the topic turns to Lysunder's death, and she feels him shaking though, that finally sets her off.]

[Before she fully realizes what exactly she was doing, she maneuvers around to his front, and despite their difference in size, the oliveblood reaches up to place hands on either side of his neck, in an attempt to reassure him.]

Shhh, its okay... you do not need to say any more. I understand.[She tries to smile, despite herself.]

I know first-hand how difficult it is to lose control of yourself like that. I know it all too well, in fact. That stinging deep inside you feel, knowing you were not strong enough control yourself, knowing that you are capable of hurting those around you. It is a wound that never fully heals, because every time you see those you hurt, it just opens right back up...

It... is why I am so glad I got the opportunity to know you. When Signless was drowned by Him, and I... lost myself, you were there to save me... For what little it is worth, I am sorry I was not there to save you in return.

[aim_exorable]

I just wanted to protect him...

[His voice is small and tight. It's all he can force out. It's the truth, after all. Certainly, there were other things at play- his relationship with the Grand Highblood is old and complicated. But he did want to protect Psiioniic. Psiioniic, Equius, Gamzee, Nepeta... All of them.]

[As she touches him, his shoulders go limp and he can't help but lean closer against it. The more she speaks, the more he feels something in him twist. None of them had understood, maybe because they weren't highbloods or hadn't had the beast go after their loved ones, but she...]

[She understands.]

They didn't either... He didn't. He kept blaming himself, and nothing I said seemed to make any difference. None of the others.... They wanted me to just leave him alone. Because I was making things worse.

Drat! I was gonna use that icon next. I like yours better though.

[feralfanatic]

Darkleer...

[Her voice drops a little, thick with compassion.]

This entire time... you have been dwelling on all of this; Trying to help but being unable to do so, not getting any help in return, the whole time tearing yourself apart on the inside, and for how long?

[She takes advantage of his leaning closer, pulling him even closer, into a hug. A firm, warm embrace, letting him know he was not alone.]

I am so sorry. Nobody should ever have to go through that by themselves.

it is the only cuddly icon I have of them, the others are just sad or dumb

[aim_exorable]

[Being held so tightly draws out a small noise from the back of his throat and before he knows it, he clings to her, hands pressing uncertainly against her. His knees sink down to the ground, to get closer to her height. Because it seems like the only kind of hiding spot, he presses his face against her hair.]

I don't want to ruin things..

[feralfanatic]

[Disciple continues to hold him closely, almost instinctively at this point. Seeing him like this, how vulnerable he was in this moment, just served to further reinforce that she was right about her feelings for him.]

And you will not. I trust in you, Darkleer, with all my being.

I also do not want to ruin what it is that we had, but with everything that we have gone through, with everything that has happened recently, with those feelings welling up inside of me... I just had to say something.

[With one of her hands, she begins to gently caress the back of his head.]

I do not want to force you into anything. I would never do that.

[aim_exorable]

[Have they gone through a lot? It almost doesn't seem it, at least in this place. Perhaps it's the quality of their interactions with one another that seem to have their lives entwined so tightly. Either way, he's not sure he has the right answer, at least right away. All he can think to do is lean against her, exhausted from telling so much.]

I.. I don't know. I'm tired.

[feralfanatic]

[Quality indeed, for she has not even been here half a sweep, and already he had affected her as deeply as he had.]

Well, we have been standing in the kitchen. If you would like you could lie down in the other room, I do have the fluffy cat bed someone got for me, and it has been an... exhausting day.

[Then the option she does not like as much...]

Or, if you want, you could return to your hive. Take have some time to think about everything. I would certainly understand.

[aim_exorable]

[He should go home. That's the smart thing. This is all too fast and confusing, terrifying, even, on some level. She has such an impact on him, he almost doesn't know what to do.]

[He gives a small nod against her shoulder.]

The cat seems... nice.

[feralfanatic]

[She moves to break from the hug, albeit a little reluctantly, but walking as is would be difficult.]

Okay how about this, you go in and lie down, and I will fetch you some blankets? They are all in my respiteblock at the moment.

[Getting the blankets had two purposes. First was obviously comfort, but secondly she was not exactly sure if he wanted company on the kitty bed, so she was giving him the chance to choose. If he left her room, then she would know.]

[aim_exorable]

I... suppose that is agreeable.

[The idea that he might need blankets just for laying down feels a bit odd, like napping in the stable with his lusus and having hay pushed onto him. Awkwardly, he gets up to his feet and seems to waver. Uncertain as he is towards just about everything right now, he's watching her for the first move.]

[feralfanatic]

Very well, then. I will return shortly.

[With a slight smile, and a pat on his arm, she turns and disappears into the depths of the hive, seeking the blankets she keeps in her block.]

[aim_exorable]

Okay...

[After a second's hesitation, he goes back to the living room and stares at the large cat plush he initially got her for the Christmas holiday. Not once did he imagine he would ever be interacting with it. Awkwardly, he settles against it.]

[...He's not comfortable like this.]

[Whenever Disciple comes back, she'll find Darkleer fidgeting all about the cat plush in an attempt to find some sort of position that will make him feel less fidgety. It isn't working that well.]

[feralfanatic]

[About a minute later, she returns to the room, carrying an armful of blankets. Seeing him fidgeting about on the cat plush, Disciple cannot help herself, a smile springs to her face. He certainly could be cute at times, not that she would ever say that out loud.]

Having troubles? Here, maybe these will help.

[She proceeds over to him, dropping the blankets in a heap at the foot of the cat plush. The oliveblood will then reach down and grab for one of them, and proceed to open it up and wrap it about herself. She still hesitates to take a seat, either on the plush or the couch, unsure of what he would feel comfortable with.]

[aim_exorable]

...Ah.

[Oh golly, someone actually saw that. How embarrassing.]

It is a possibility, I suppose.

[Reaching over, Darkleer picks at the edge of one blanket before starting to pull the whole thing closer. He's not really sure if he wants to wrap himself in one. The idea feels like it would be... childish, or something. He is an adult!]

[...So that's not a pile he's making kind of around and near the stomach of the cat plush. It just happens to look like a pile. That he's nervously reclining on.]

[feralfanatic]

[Still not fully sure, she decides to just go for it. It would not be Darkleer, after all, if he was easy to read. As carefully as she can she lies down to his side, more leaning against the cat plush then on it, plus she was still wrapped in her blanket... That was sort of safer, right?]

Did they- help at all?

[aim_exorable]

I believe so, yes.

[At least something feels settled, which is a change. He's faintly reminded of the night the dreams of Vatheon were open to view, and he did the same in his own bed, alone.]

[There's an awkward shift as Disciple comes to lay besides him, but he doesn't move away. He simply runs his hands over his own light flexible armor. He rarely takes it off unless it's for a reason, even in his most mundange tasks. Right now, he's debating on just stripping of it. Would that be right? Or would that just make things more awkward?]

[He doesn't say anything, just tries to lay there while watching her out of the corner of his eye.]

[feralfanatic]

[As she was watching him, too. She could not help herself. As tiring as the day was, her currently mood was anything but relaxed.]

That is good. I am glad they were able to help. I just hope you are comfortable. I really like the cat, but the way, it was really thoughtful.

[She burrows her head a little into it, making a more comfortable spot for her to lay her head.]

[aim_exorable]

I hoped you would. I saw it in a store.

[What store sells giant cat plushes? Why was he there in the first place? Things he is not talking about!]

I wasn't sure what to give you... [So he gave her a lot of stuff.]

[feralfanatic]

Oh, you did wonderful. Everything is just great, really.

[The claws would take some getting used to, but will come quite in handy on her hunts... and self defense if need be. The Dualscar doll made her genuinely laugh. The scarf she has taken to using and her few forays to the frozen island. And the book... she would not bring up as of right now, no need to crank the awkward-meter up to full power.]

The claws must have taken you some time.

[aim_exorable]

[Thank so many different kinds of gods she doesn't bring up the book.]

Only some. Time tends to pass quickly when I am working. I have been at this craft for quite some time, so I know how to get it done in a quick enough manner without sacrificing any of the quality. It was a pleasure, really.

[feralfanatic]

Your knack for it really shows. To do everything that they can do, and be able to retract, all while still being deceptively strong and useful for their intended purpose; They truly are remarkable.

[She turns to look at him now, not just glances from the side.]

You really are amazing at what you do.

[aim_exorable]

[This isn't the first time he's been complicated on his skill with creating things, but he still feels a faint bit of blue dust his face, and his ears twitch downwards.]

I may fail at many things, but archery and engineering will always be my better talents. Thank you for the kind words regardless.

[feralfanatic]

[Her spot partially on the ground was starting to get a little uncomfortable... or was she just telling herself that? Regardless, she shifts a little, doing her own little fidget.]

You are quite welcome, though I am not sure I agree with the first thing you said.

[aim_exorable]

[Whoa there, she's moving closer, what??? He turns his head to watch her, twiddling his fingers and feeling his heart beat. It's like he's seven all over again.]

It's not necessarily a bad thing, sometimes. Arrogance in viewing myself was a problem before, I think.

[feralfanatic]

[Closer, indeed; fidget.]

Well, I guess. The way you said it makes you sound too harsh on yourself, though...

[Fidget, fidget... oh screw it! She is well aware of where she wants to be right now, and is not going to be comfortable until then.]

This floor is not working... move over just a little.

[With that she moves to place herself on the cat plush next to him, where she could feel comfortable.]